The Melancholy of Arthur Kirkland
by yxx
Summary: [Time Travel] After waking up as his fifteen-year-old self, Arthur Kirkland is determined to live life to the fullest. And stay away from his high school heartbreak. Too bad that Alfred F. Jones just refuses to leave him alone. USUK, Human AU, Gakuen AU
1. The Regrets of Arthur Kirkland

AN: original idea here! I decided to be creative. ;)

Native America is not a villain. Really. Well...maybe a little by some of her actions. But she will be a protagonist.

This chapter is fully edited!

warning: Alfred doesn't buy a burger when he could. Gasp! There also might be some FrUk later in the fic, but if it happens, it's not the end pairing.

Don't own anything except for the idea.

I corrected some bugs. Thanks for math music reading's suggestions. Some of the logic was off, sorry! The whole first chapter was written in a bit of a rushed state because I was traveling.

If it needs to be clarified: Alfred was looking for Arthur on purpose, and suddenly saw Arthur. He wanted Arthur to come to the reunion.

* * *

アーサー·カークランドの憂鬱

The Melancholy of Arthur Kirkland

* * *

Chapter 1:

The Regrets of Arthur Kirkland

* * *

Arthur Kirkland hardly thinks himself to be successful. In fact, he doesn't think it a far stretch to say that he's a failure.

Almost eight years have passed ever since he graduated from his ideal university, with honors, but here he is, working at the counter of a McDonald's, one of the fast food stores which he once regarded with contempt.

Quite a difference from what he imagined his dream job as.

Sometimes Arthur wonders why he chose to read English Literature out of all the possible subjects. It ends up having nothing to do with the job he holds currently, and hardly does him any good in daily life.

Arthur's certainly well-versed in the classics and writing papers, but that's hardly anything he touches upon now.

It really is true, how the state of your future is very unpredictable.

Everything seemed to be pointing towards success for him in high school. Arthur was a model student, the salutatorian (one of his greatest regrets yet), vice captain of the debate team, secretary for student council...

All of which have no use in his life currently. Frankly, he joined those clubs for academic purposes only, not really because he was interested.

There's only so much studying you can take before it becomes a heavy burden.

Speaking of what he was _actually_ interested in, Arthur never accomplished most of his goals during high school either. The ones he always dreamed of doing.

He did not run for student council president, didn't learn to play the guitar or join a band, didn't improve his honestly pathetic friend count (less than five, and they weren't close friends anyway, other than maybe Alfred)...

The list goes on and on, Arthur thinks as he rubs at his eyes, taking an order from an obese man who smells of cigarette smoke.

Maybe Arthur should've went for something he was really interested in. He enjoyed reading and writing very much, but once a hobby becomes a burden...well, it isn't as enjoyable anymore.

Arthur hated the essays and papers especially, and his interest in prose and poetry rapidly dropped once he began to stay up late in order to complete assignments. He still has those dark circles under his eyes and his sad vision as proof of his stress.

All the complaining and regrets aside, Arthur just wants to find a better, full-time job. Something other than working at McDonalds. Or KFC. Or Burger King. Or whatever else there is.

Arthur is grateful that at least he hasn't fallen to the point of begging on the streets or being homeless. That's the true extreme of the spectrum, something he hopes he never will have to do.

The door swings open and another customer enters, interrupting Arthur's thoughts.

He's about to repeat the usual welcome in monotone when he's cut off rather rudely by the customer, who's next words immediately stun Arthur into silence.

"Wait...You're Artie, right?"

… _?!_

That voice...it's scarily familiar, and...

Arthur lifts his head up with an alarming speed, connecting the dots inwardly as green eyes meet familiar blue.

He's someone Arthur never thought he'd meet again...

"...Alfred?"

Sure enough, the man in front of him is Alfred F. Jones, the star athlete who not just won about every sports scholarship offered, but also was the one who surpassed Arthur in grades.

Or, in more concise words, his former friend who he's always been semi-purposefully avoiding.

Alfred's changed from his younger self somewhat, with a different hairstyle and a more mature aura about him, but...

It's...Alfred. Arthur's...former friend... _fine_ , one-sided crush back in high school...who...

Bloody hell, Arthur's still wearing the ridiculous uniform and all that, isn't he?

And they just had to meet again here, in a fast food store he once denounced as unhealthy and stupid, of all the possible places...

...Arthur just wants to cover his burning face and hide himself in a hole right now. Or run away. Yes, that sounds like a plausible option.

He never really got over those unrequited feelings for Alfred, and it's _still_ affecting Arthur, even though it's already been several years.

"Whaaaaat? You must be kidding me! _The_ Arthur Kirkland, working at a McDonald's? I thought I saw wrong, but it's really you. Didn't you major in reading or writing?"

Alfred looks just about surprised as he can get, and Arthur has to hide a flinch at the question which people _always_ has to ask him.

Yes, yes. He isn't successful. But that doesn't mean that Arthur likes everyone bringing up old wounds!

"It's English Literature, _not_...reading. Or writing. And unfortunately, yes. I am currently working here, so sorry if that bothers you."

...Arthur didn't plan on sounding so...offensive and rude, but the words just came naturally along with his frustration and confusion.

It's another one of his problems, the fact that he always acts particularly disagreeable whenever he's nervous or embarrassed, that is.

The knowledge that Alfred and Arthur had parted on a less-than-pleasant note doesn't help with the current situation. At all.

What happened was...At the end of their senior year, Arthur had finally mustered up enough courage, deciding to tell Alfred about, well…

Arthur confessed his feelings at the graduation party, in front of everyone too, which was something he did stupidly and out of pure impulse. A truly humiliating experience.

It wouldn't have been, if everything went smoothly.

(He's reached the age when he can say "Ah...That's what being young is like...", hasn't he?)

Arthur thought that Alfred liked him too, at least from what the cheerful boy had said and done...like that time during the class trip, when they snuck out at night and watched the stars together. Or when Alfred's face was dangerously close to Arthur's during a study session at the library.

If that didn't mean anything, then Arthur's not a Kirkland.

He thought that at least this one dream would also come true, just like how he was accepted by the university he wanted...but it only became another memory of his teenage years he would rather not recall.

Humiliating. Embarrassing. Devastating.

...Because Alfred said "No".

* * *

If there's one thing Arthur hates about Alfred, it's how he always manages to act so oblivious, so calm and cheerful when the atmosphere obviously isn't so.

Like, say, now.

"...It's been a long time, hasn't it?" Alfred is suddenly staring at Arthur now, and he is stunned into nodding, unsure of what to reply.

"Yes...Uh, would you like to order something?" Arthur coughs awkwardly, asking the question not because he wants Alfred to leave, per se, but because the manager, Ms. Héderváry, is looking a little...frightening. And besides, they _are_ attracting many stares from the other customers.

"Maybe some other time, but, uh...I was looking for you because of the high school reunion, and then I found you, so yeah. I'll be going unless something comes up, and you definitely should come!"

Alfred's words sounds more serious now, if not a bit rushed, and he stuffs the envelope into Arthur's hands, before waving and leaving Arthur standing behind the counter, holding the letter all while feeling bewildered.

Just like that?

(...Nothing else?)

"Arthur, who was that?" Ms. Héderváry immediately sidles up to him, a strangely excited expression on her face, which rather unnerves Arthur. Shouldn't she be angry that he wasn't doing his job?

"...Just a high school classmate," Arthur replies, despite knowing that Alfred isn't just any high school classmate to him.

Ugh...He's obviously not over Alfred yet...

Somehow though, the response makes the brunette woman seem more excited, confusing Arthur even more.

Does she like gossip?

"Keep me updated...Artie!" And she immediately adopts that blasted nickname of his, from nobody other than Alfred, of course.

Just brilliant.

* * *

So...the high school reunion, which Arthur never attended before. But this time Alfred personally gave it to him, as if he wanted Arthur to...come.

"To Arthur Kirkland..." Arthur reads the words on the letter out loud, feelings mixed about whether he wants to attend or not.

Because...who would want to meet them again when the last time they all saw each other, Arthur confessed his feelings for Alfred?

But...it would be nice to see how his classmates are doing. That sort of thing. Although they'd probably ask about what _he_ is doing currently.

That, well...

And Alfred would definitely be there...though he did say "unless something comes up"...Knowing him, Alfred would probably be there even if he has business…

But Arthur isn't even part of Alfred's life anymore. How'd he know what Alfred does and values now?

What would that have to do with him going or not anyway. Sigh.

What a decision he has to make...To go or not to go? Arthur wants to pull at his hair with frustration, but he resorts to telling himself to calm down and decide.

He can't afford to be frustrated and angry every single day.

Even though he is still fervently going over the options in his head, Arthur already knows that, deep down, he wants to go. His curiosity is growing and growing, and it's becoming harder to refuse the invitation that he used to ignore.

But in the end, it's mainly because of Alfred, isn't it? Alfred found him and personally told him he should go. And Arthur wants to know...wants to know what Alfred's been doing.

He uselessly denies it for a few more minutes, but gives in and decides to make himself a cup of tea.

(...Arthur's definitely going.)

* * *

Why is everyone staring at him?

"...Hello," Arthur says after a moment of awkward silence, and it seems to vanish just as quick as it started, with everyone walking over to greet him with smiles on their faces.

They're mostly as he remembers, except for the little differences and changes which naturally develops over the years.

Francis, Kiku, Feliciano, Yao, Ludwig...Ivan is here too, among many others. Alfred though...Arthur is definitely _not_ disappointed when he doesn't see him. He doesn't care at all whether Alfred comes or not, and Arthur doesn't feel anything at the fact that he isn't here.

(...yet?)

"Why all the stares..." Arthur mutters to himself, a little louder than he wanted, which guaranteed the response of one frog.

"Well, it's because of your impressive deficiency in the social department, _mon ami_. They were simply surprised you even showed up." Francis smiles in his usual, annoying fashion, and Arthur scowls in response.

Arthur knows that Francis is avoiding the obvious and saying something else to distract him, but he doesn't take the bait.

Though he does feel grateful. A little.

They didn't grow up neighbors for nothing. Despite their frequent squabbles, Arthur and Francis still help each other in times of need. Like now, for example.

But...Arthur can guarantee that everyone remembers what happened the last time they were all gathered together, and he does know perfectly well why they all stared at him.

And knowing Arthur's luck, it's none other than because—

"The hero...is…. _here_! Remember when I used to say that all the time?" The loud, cheery voice stops Arthur short in his thoughts, and he quickly turns away.

Of course Alfred would attend. Not doing so would be very unlike him.

The subject of his worries proceeds to walk in, giving Arthur a smile that he tries desperately to ignore.

"Arthur, you really came!"

"...Yes."

 _Don't talk to Alfred...Don't talk to him..._

 _Talk to Alfred...Talk to him...Maybe ask him why...It's another chance._

The two voices are still arguing in Arthur's head when someone else enters the room, large dress floating everywhere in the air.

Wait...she's...

Arthur suddenly has a sinking feeling inside, recognizing the woman as the Native American girl a year above them.

...Who Alfred often mentioned...his sort-of "big sister" who used to play with him…

No way...They're just friends...

Arthur feels suddenly colder, and he stands unmoving as he stares at the two, hoping that what he's thinking isn't true. She probably just came to give Alfred something.

"This is..." Kiku speaks slowly to break the strange silence, and Alfred is about to reply when the woman cuts him off, placing her arm around him.

"I'm his fiancée," she says with a bright smile, and nearly the whole room explodes in voices at the declaration, all the former classmates obviously shocked at the sudden revelation.

"Wait, I-" Alfred seems about to say something, but his voice is drowned out by the crowd's chatter as they gather to congratulate him, blocking him from Arthur's sight.

The enthusiasm is reasonable, since the "cool guy" of their class is getting married after all.

Arthur only stands where he is, feeling sick as the realization that Alfred is engaged finally sinks in, even though he knows that it's not unusual.

They're almost thirty. Having a fiancée is perfectly normal...but...

Why does Arthur feel so hollow? Why does he feel like crying, even?

"Ah...congratulations," is all Arthur manages to say as he tries to keep himself from leaving the room immediately.

 _That_ would be painfully obvious. This reunion is already a disaster...Arthur doesn't want to ruin it further for himself...

He swears he can feel his heart aching though as he stares at Alfred, whose guilty expression Arthur doesn't miss.

 _Why? What's even the point of looking guilty?_

"Arthur, I-" Alfred opens his mouth, evidently about to say something, but Arthur cuts him off, not wanting to hear anything anymore.

"I don't need your pity," Arthur blurts out, inwardly cursing himself soon after the words leave his mouth.

Idiot, idiot, idiot! Everyone's already staring, and it must be very obvious...His face is heating up now, and it must be as red as a tomato...

"Sorry. I was just surprised," Arthur says lamely, not meeting Alfred's eyes. Or anyone's eyes.

Why does he always have to be so cruel? Why invite Arthur to the reunion when his fiancée is coming? When he _knows_?

But then again, what right does Arthur have to tell Alfred not to inform everyone of his marriage? Just because he confessed his feelings years ago?

The sympathetic glances from some others in the room is the straw that breaks the camel's back, and Arthur tries to hide his clenched fists and not-very-pleasant facial expression as he grits his teeth and speaks.

"Excuse me. I need to pick up my mother from the airport." It's a blatant lie, _obviousobviousobvious_ , but Arthur doesn't care.

He just wants to leave.

Arthur never should've came anyway.

* * *

It's raining. It's pouring. What's that next line again?

Whatever. It's not important at all currently.

How perfect, Arthur thinks as he curses quietly. Alfred brings his fiancée to the reunion and Arthur forgets his umbrella.

Today really is _such_ a perfect day, he thinks bitterly.

After a few more seconds of sulking, Arthur eventually ventures out into the rain, with only his jacket to cover himself as he walks forward, planning to find either a taxi or somewhere to wait until the rain stops.

"Wait, Artie! Artie!"

 _Bloody—_

"Arthur? Can you let me explain?"

Arthur doesn't look back, only quickening his steps slightly. He doesn't want an explanation and doesn't _need_ an explanation.

Arthur doesn't need to be _comforted._

The volume of Alfred's voice makes it impossible to deny hearing him though, and Arthur turns, trying to muster what he hopes to be a venomous glare at Alfred.

"Goodness! Can't you leave me alone for once?" Arthur doesn't wait for a response, turning around and walking forward briskly. Alfred certainly sound as if he has something to say, but...

Arthur's tired. He's had just about _enough_. First that completely unexpected rejection years ago, and now this. Arthur's completely tired of Alfred's unreadable actions now.

"She's not my fiancée!" Alfred tries to pull at Arthur's arm, but he's quickly pushed away roughly, simply because Arthur feels alarm at his slightly improving mood.

So what if Alfred denies it? He's just trying to appease Arthur and calm him down.

"She's not? Well, she already said-" Arthur never finishes though, because the first thing he sees when he looks back at Alfred is the blinding bright...lights of a...car?

 _Good Lord—_

It's honking its horn as gets closer and closer to Alfred, who's still frozen right there in the middle of the road, eyes widening in surprise and realization, but _it'smuchtoolate—_

Arthur runs forward to push Alfred away.

 _Anything but him dying...He can't die..._

(The last things he hears is a blaring noise (ambulance?) and Alfred's voice begging him to stay awake.)

* * *

AN: thanks for reading. follow/fav/review? See you next chapter!


	2. The Hesitance of Arthur Kirkland

AN: Hello! Thanks for all the support! Here's the second chapter.

 **Interactive:** If you can guess a major twist later in the story which is hinted at in this chapter, you can request a scene and I'll try to include it if I'm comfortable with it and if it doesn't conflict with my planned plot.

PM or review, you pick. I want to see if my story is predictable :)

Other note: This is going to be focused on Arthur's second chance at life, with romance following a very close second. There will be stuff with his family, i.e. problems about his younger siblings, etc.

Jennifer - Britannia/Ancient Britain (Traits: kind, strong-willed)

Alistair - Scotland (teasing, jerk with a heart of gold)

Rhys - Wales (haraguro, smiles all the time but might be plotting for your downfall)

Ellie & Patrick - Ireland & N. Ireland respectively. (outspoken and a bit childish for Ellie. Scarily silent and calm for Patrick.)

Also, I hope Arthur's reactions/thoughts etc. are realistic. I haven't experienced what he did(duh...), so...

Don't own anything except for the idea.

* * *

アーサー·カークランドの憂鬱

The Melancholy of Arthur Kirkland

* * *

Chapter 2:

The Hesitance of Arthur Kirkland

* * *

"Arthur! Arthur!"

 _...What...What's going on..._

Arthur Kirkland wakes up to a young girl's voice persistently calling his name, and he slowly opens his eyes, blinking at the sudden brightness that attacks them.

What...? Didn't he push Alfred away and was hit instead?

If so, why would he be here, waking up, to light?

"Where...am I?" And...why's his voice so different? It's completely changed from how he used to sound like. It's high-pitched and...younger. Way younger than it should be.

"The hospital, of course! Mum's coming already, so don't you dare faint on me again! Big bro and Reese cups are coming too. Patrick's outside. I'm going to tell him you're awake." Arthur immediately recognizes the girl as his younger sister Ellie, with reddish brown hair and the same green eyes, but he stares at her in shock, uncomprehending.

Ellie should be an adult currently! And she hasn't been so talkative since ages ago, before she distanced herself from them and had her delinquent years. And...

Reese cups? She stopped calling Rhys that when she started _high school_. Which she evidently isn't in currently, judging by her nine or ten-years-old appearance.

What in the world is happening? Is this...What _is_ this?

"Ellie, could you tell me what happened?" Arthur should be dead and buried, but everything is obviously contradicting that currently. Not to mention...why is his hands so much smaller?

That small scar he received from an accident during his university days isn't there also...

"September fourth. You were with that Alfred bloke when you weren't paying attention and walked into the road. You're such an idiot, Arthur!" Ellie soon loses her previous reprimanding and disapproving attitude, looking about to cry, the tears welling up at her eyes.

"Don't cry! I'm sorry..." Weren't paying attention? Walked into the road? That sounds different from how Arthur just died.

But that happened once before, (it was quite idiotic of him) during Arthur's tenth grade year, when he was on the way home and...Wait. Back then, Arthur was...fifteen...!

"Ellie, how old am I?" Arthur snaps out the question, evidently shocking Ellie, who gives him a frown before answering.

"Fifteen. I can't believe that you're older than me." Ellie sniffs with indignation before going on to say something else, but Arthur's mind is already overloading with revelations and disbelief.

Fifteen? _Fifteen?!_

That's not possible! But...how else would one explain his current situation?

"Can you ask for a mirror please?" He doesn't wait for Ellie's reply, only sitting in disbelief until she runs off and comes back with a small hand mirror. And Patrick, who Arthur absentmindedly greets.

The mirror's pink with floral patterns, but it would have to do.

Arthur only stares at his own wide green eyes in the mirror, pinching his young, surprisingly soft face, unmarred by dark circles under his eyes or the natural tired look he always had ever since he began failing to sleep regularly. The contacts he took to wearing don't exist either, and a wild look to his left and right shows a pair of glasses on the side.

The black framed one Arthur wore during the entirety of high school.

It was and still is very ugly, come to think of it. Arthur inwardly thinks that he would switch to contacts as soon as he leaves this place.

But...it isn't the appropriate time to be thinking about that! The focus should be on how Arthur's fifteen again, despite the fact that he is supposed to be dead.

Deceased. Passed away. Hit by a car.

 _No way...No way…_

But it's true…

Arthur always dreamed of turning back time to fix his regrets during his teenage years, whether it be grades, competitions, an embarrassing situation, or that fateful night at the graduation party.

But he never thought that it would come _true_. After his death, no less...

Does that mean that things could change? Arthur doesn't have to lead a miserable life anymore? If this is real, then the answer is an obvious "yes".

His family...Ellie could be detracted from distancing them in the future. And his mother...If Arthur watches out for her constantly, she wouldn't be that sick. Not to mention his brothers, who he never contacted since a while ago.

Arthur can also study something other than "reading", as Alfred calls it. Perhaps law, or history...Or maybe even something science and maths-oriented.

Arthur has another chance to actually become valedictorian this time...Or student council president...or join a band instead of just playing the violin. Anything he wants, he can try now.

All the sudden thoughts make Arthur feel more and more excited, and he begins to smile, ignoring Ellie's confused expression. Patrick is reading his book, which isn't very surprising.

There's no need to question it anymore. Any denial would be just a futile struggle, in the end.

Arthur's fifteen again, and that is obviously an _undeniable_ truth. He still can't really believe it, but there's no other possible explanation. Unless one drifts into the sci-fi territories, of experiments and mad scientists.

He's fifteen again.

So many possibilities, so many opportunities...

"Artie! Are you okay?" That (younger, just as obnoxious, _oh wait_...) voice interrupts his thoughts again, and Arthur turns almost violently, watching the door open—

And Alfred rushes in, looking just like he always does in Arthur's memories. The shiny blond hair and stray wisp he calls Nantucket, sun-kissed skin, those blue eyes and glasses...

Arthur shakes his head to himself, quickly looking away at the floor instead. He can't afford to fall under the spell called Alfred anymore.

Alfred became Arthur's friend all those years ago, Arthur saved Alfred's life. They're even now, and it's not too late yet to keep his distance.

"I'm fine, idiot." Good Lord, he sounds ridiculous, sounding like...like...he's in denial or something.

Which he _isn't_ in.

"You're not seriously injured?" Alfred still looks as clueless as ever, which makes Arthur wonder about his obliviousness. Has he always been like this? He doesn't really believe that.

Alfred has to have some social bonuses with that highly developed brain of his, which does show in all the friends he has. Except he acts just as clueless.

"Arthur broke a lot of bones thanks to you!" Ellie exaggerates Arthur's state, about to say even more, but is silenced by Arthur's reprimanding look. She only pouts for a second before turning to pester Patrick.

Arthur secretly approves though. Alfred the idiot caused him to die, so he should at least be able to feel a little unhappy, despite him not disliking or hating Alfred.

Alfred also was the beginning to this new chance...

"Really?! I'm so sorry..." Alfred seems about to rush closer, but thankfully the nurse doesn't let him go further, giving him a lecture about recovering patients and not startling them.

Excellent job, Arthur tells the woman inwardly. He knew that she didn't look so stern for nothing.

"Could you all leave me alone for a while? I'd like to rest," Arthur says, because he truly wants some time to himself. Now that Alfred's back in the picture, as his "best friend", no less, things will most likely not be turning out how Arthur wants them to.

Ellie looks hesitant, but she leaves with Patrick in tow. Then there's only Alfred remaining, standing there with a miserable look on his face.

"I'll talk to you later, Arthur..." And there's that change of address again. Alfred seems to call him Arthur instead of Artie whenever he's particularly serious about something. Then Arthur wishes he's serious all the time, since he dislikes the nickname.

(In truth, his heart always skipp _ed_ a beat whenever Alfred calls him by his name.)

"Fine. But I'm really tired." Arthur feels a little guilty at being so forceful, but he really feels uncomfortable being around Alfred right now. His arrival dampened Arthur's good mood, and he really needs to think about what he wants to do next.

Which includes what to do with a certain outgoing boy.

But even when everything is mostly quiet and everyone is gone, other than the muffled talking voices from outside, Arthur doesn't know what to do.

There's so many things he wants to change, but now that Alfred is a factor in the equation, he can't quite solve for that key variable immediately.

Well, maybe eliminating that wild card would be a good choice.

As in avoiding Alfred altogether.

It would be a little cruel towards him, since they're still friends currently, but Arthur doesn't want to gamble his life just to see what will happen with Alfred, who left a shadow in his youth anyway.

Alright...that's one decision down. Temporarily. Arthur's conscience just _isn't_ letting him dismiss the issue, whispering to him that this is the Alfred years ago. Not the one who rejected him, and not the one who was chasing after him on that rainy night.

"Arthur?" The voice who interrupts Arthur's worrying isn't Alfred, or his siblings, but…

"...Mum?" Arthur has to keep himself from staring wide-eyed for a while. Because Jennifer Kirkland looks completely different from when he'd last saw her, which...was in the hospital, and she could barely say anything.

She's forty-eight currently, but still very different, younger, from her bedridden self in the future. The sudden knowledge that she's healthy again, only has Arthur feeling miserable from relief. A strange feeling.

"Oh...there's no need to cry, darling. We're all here. You'll get better." It's only until his mother comes over to wipe at his face when Arthur realizes that he's crying, the tears already rolling down his face and onto the bed.

It's extremely embarrassing, but he doesn't feel too abashed. He's always been close to his mother, so it's easier to overlook embarrassing things when it's between just the two of them.

"I, uh, sorry. I don't know what's come over me," Arthur mutters, feeling like a child all over again. But he technically is a child, if compared to his previous age.

"Artie, yer cryin'?" Alistair's sudden voice makes Arthur jump in surprise, but he's even more shocked to see that his older brother looks more serious than teasing, which seemed to be what he aimed for. He's surprisingly...concerned-looking for once.

"Shut up, Alistair," Arthur mutters, feeling ridiculous as to why he's reacting and responding to everything so extremely. And weakly.

"I'd be more surprised that Alistair's actually worried," Rhys says, managing the same old pondering, innocent look on his face as he smiles softly. He's obviously doing it on purpose to irk Alistair, which he always succeeds in.

"Shut up, Rhys," Alistair snaps, and Arthur wonders why he never really noticed the similarities between all of them. Maybe it was because he didn't really pay attention to his brothers the first time around (sounds weird saying that, but it's true).

" _Boys, don't fight_." Their mother's words bear a sense of finality, and they all become silent, Alistair giving Rhys a final scowl, with the latter only smiling back.

Somehow, Arthur likes it. He hasn't been around his family for a long time. His mother was in the hospital, Alistair was busy being a diplomat and flying everywhere, Rhys was an architect, happily married with the whole picket fence, and the twins were actually finding success in a singing career.

He'd ignored them all in favor for himself, really, and by the time he finished school, they all had a strange distance between them. Not hostility, but just unfamiliarity. Which felt horrible to Arthur, except that he didn't make any attempt to ease the situation.

Which Arthur definitely won't let happen again.

"Mum! Jones is still there!" Ellie runs in, pulling the ever-so-silent Patrick by the hand, and that completes their six-person family once more.

"Call him Alfred, Ellie. Or at least something more polite. He's your friend, right?" Arthur's mother looks towards him, and Arthur immediately freezes before trying to relax so it wouldn't seem bizarre of him.

"Could you tell him that I'm fine, and I'll see him some time later?" Arthur knows that he can't hide forever, but he doesn't think he's perfectly ready to meet someone who broke his teenaged heart and who he saved and died for.

"Sure." She looks towards him with an odd look on her face, but doesn't question any further. Alistair and Rhys look similar too, and Arthur swallows hard, trying to maintain an oblivious look.

He can't continue to act too strange. They're bound to realize some day.

Or maybe he could tell them, but obviously not _now_.

Suddenly, he feels that this new life doesn't seem any less stressful than Arthur's last.

* * *

When Arthur wakes up for the...third or fourth time ever since the incident, he's finally convinced that everything which happened isn't a dream.

Because it's six in the morning, and it's his first day returning to school. Which means, reliving high school over again.

If Arthur remembers currently, he hasn't really done anything yet except for being a class representative last year, joining the debate club, and playing as concertmaster in the orchestra. Most of the really important things haven't happened yet.

There's still plenty of room to work with. Maybe Arthur would have to review most of the classwork, but he can't think of anything that's wrong or an important problem.

He would keep up his grades, join a few clubs...Yes, that sounds fine. It's basic, but it's a start.

Arthur quickly dresses in the standard uniform—there wouldn't be a need to find the summer set until at least months later, and Arthur gives his still much different (from his twenty-nine-year-old face) appearance in the mirror a good look.

It's the same as he saw the day when he first woke up. He doesn't tend to be arrogant, but Arthur would say that he's quite good-looking right now.

Other than the eyebrows, of course.

His whole person looks much more spirited and healthy though, even with an innocent air about him. Arthur gives the mirror one last glance before leaving his room.

Everything really has changed.

This _is_ his new beginning.

* * *

Arthur didn't expect _this_ though when he opens the door, about to walk to school.

"Hey Artie!" Alfred is standing right on his doorstep, bright smile on his face, and Arthur's almost shocked into slamming the door. Almost. He has more self-control than that.

"Alfred, what are you doing here?" Arthur truly feels confused. Why is Alfred right in front of his house when he should be heading to school also...

"Don't we always walk together?" Alfred laughs, and Arthur stands uncomprehending before he nods stupidly, trying to appear normal.

Arthur does remember something of the sort, which later ended for some reason. So he must've forgotten because their walks never lasted for long...right.

The thing with Alfred though...Arthur will decide what to do later. He still doesn't know whether to avoid Alfred or not. That felt like the best course of action, but...

(Arthur's so immersed in his thoughts, he doesn't notice the curious look Alfred gives him.)

* * *

AN 2: Thanks for reading! follow/fav/review if you like and see you next chapter!


	3. The Adjustment of Arthur Kirkland

A/N: I got stuck in the end, and the chapter was a decent length, so I just ended it right there.

But more importantly, I finally finished...Hopefully next chapter will be up soon. And hopefully I'll be able to write Alfred better if/when I switch to his POV. I'm not very satisfied with him right now, but I promise he'll get more dialogue and personality later.

In this chapter: interactions with classmates, etc.

Also, not British, not going to hide it. I use some British terms though, since I researched them like crazy when I was writing something else that had to do with the UK.

Disclaimer: Don't own

Enjoy!

* * *

アーサー·カークランドの憂鬱

The Melancholy of Arthur Kirkland

* * *

Chapter 3,

The Adjustment of Arthur Kirkland

* * *

World Academy is the same as Arthur remembers, with the tall, grand structure and complementing scenery typical of a fine institution. The student body is a mix of both local and international, which is the main selling point for all potential attendees.

But enough with that nonsense. It's not time to think about this.

Arthur needs to focus on finding his way through a place he's mostly forgotten. It's only until he sees some slightly familiar things that he even remembers the remote direction to head in.

He found his schedule in one of his textbooks a while ago, and if not for that piece of paper, he definitely wouldn't know the room numbers.

But…

Where is Room 165? Arthur may know the room number, but he is not sure of where it is actually located, currently searching while attempting to hide his confusion.

A closer look to the room down the hallway shows that it is 204. Definitely not in the immediate area of 165.

Urrgh...What to do...

"What are you doing?"

A light, airy voice speaks suddenly, and Arthur drops his paper out of surprise, watching it fly across the hall for a few seconds until he runs forward to catch it. If he doesn't retrieve it, that group of students who just walked by probably would've trampled the page all over.

And, well, he wouldn't want that to happen. But speaking of the person who (sort of) caused it in the first place…

Looking at him with an unreadable expression is Lukas Bondevik, the quiet blond boy who was in Arthur's maths and science classes. The thing is...Arthur barely knows him.

What Arthur _does_ remember about Lukas is that distinctive hairpin, his mysterious personality, and that loud friend he has. Mathias Køhler, someone who's part of Alfred's social circle.

If Arthur remembers correctly, they ended up in a relationship some time in university, according to Francis. It apparently was something very surprising to everyone, but Arthur didn't give it much thought. He barely knew them anyways.

"You look uncomfortable." It's a statement said without much emotion, and Arthur quietly thinks to himself that Lukas is the type he has no idea how to talk to. Arthur just prefers straightforward people, or at least someone who he can easily read and understand.

"I just felt a little...confused." He should ask for directions. But Arthur finds himself stubbornly not talking, and he is still in a odd war with his mind on whether to ask or not (of course he should) when Lukas speaks.

"165 is down that hall. Turn right by the restrooms, and it should be there." He points towards the direction where he came from, and Arthur is a little taken aback by Lukas' scary perceptiveness, though he is quick to thank the mysterious boy, of course.

"Thank you, er—" Arthur doesn't say anything else, because someone is _almost running into him_ but doesn't, stopping at the last moment and leaving a slightly wide-eyed Arthur torn between voicing his anger or just leaving to get to class.

The situation seems to be complicating itself immensely.

"Where'd you go, Nor? It took such a long time to find you!" Mathias Køhler is only panting slightly, thanks to his excellent athletic genes. And no, Arthur is not jealous of anyone's athletic abilities.

Maybe it's just Arthur, but did Lukas just make a face and mutter 'tch'?

But when Arthur looks at him again, his face just looks blank and indifferent, as always. Maybe Arthur saw wrong, but you never know. People have many facets to their personalities.

"I was making sure Emil knew where to go," Lukas says, not looking exactly overjoyed when Mathias practically begins to drag him away by one arm.

Arthur looks on, a little envious but mostly confused by their dynamic.

"Uh, see you later," he says, and Lukas gives Arthur a glance before he turns around the corner, saying something to Mathias that Arthur can't hear.

Well, that was...interesting, Arthur thinks. He's never participated much in gossip, but he remembers some of the people everyone secretly (or not-so-secretly) supported. Or "shipped", is what some people call it.

Definitely Antonio and Lovino...those two are so dense, even though it's extremely obvious to everyone else. Ludwig and Feliciano…Berwald and Tino...Kiku and Mei, maybe? Or Vash and his supposed "younger sister", Lilli.

...Why is Arthur thinking about this?

And then the bell rings.

* * *

Naturally, Arthur garners a lot of attention when he enters the classroom, quite a few minutes late and internally reprimanding himself.

Ms. Olivier looks up at him, adjusts her glasses, and frowns.

Oh no.

"Mr. Kirkland. Do you have a pass?" Arthur almost forgot—Ms. Olivier is very particular about tardies and the like. By now, there are already whispers in the whole room and many looks thrown his way.

Arthur shakes his head, truly feeling fifteen again, one of those ages when he did many stupid, embarrassing things. He should've just went and got a pass rather than experience this right here.

"Though I understand that you have just recovered, please acquire the proper pass." Her voice has a sense of finality, and Arthur mutters a "Yes, ma'am" before hurrying out of the room.

These situations almost never happened to Arthur before, so they naturally feel embarrassing. But nothing can be done about that now, so he proceeds to walk to the office, calming himself down internally.

It's not the worst he's experienced.

Arthur's rather focused on wondering where the office is when he bumps into something resembling a wall, except that it is softer and...warmer.

Arthur quickly jumps back when he realizes that he just crashed into a _person_ , and a closer look shows that it's _the_ Ivan Braginsky.

The bulky, rather intimidating boy who is apparently Alfred's "rival", especially in American football. Arthur often heard Alfred mention Ivan before, but he probably will never understand why they all sit at the same lunch table. Especially considering Ivan's status as rival. Or maybe not so much.

But more importantly, he's well known because many regard him as a bully.

Arthur doesn't know anything about that, but he decides that he won't judge until he sees concrete evidence.

Even if Ivan is quite intimidating.

"Sorry. Do you know where the office is?" Arthur doesn't bother to ask why Ivan is out in the halls when everyone's supposed to be in class.

"The office, da?" He smiles strangely, which confuses Arthur a little.

"Yes, the office."

"The office is at the end of that hallway," he says as he points to where Arthur just came from, looking a little amused. Or maybe not, but he's been smiling that strange smile all this while.

Wait...So...Arthur was walking the opposite direction all along?

Something that must've been his pride explodes into nothing, and Arthur tries his hardest to suppress his extreme mortification.

Walking away from his destination, of all things!

"...Thank you," Arthur nods before turning around, just wanting to finish what he came for. Get a pass, continue class.

It rhymes, and sounds horrible, but he must be going instead of thinking about these things.

Arthur does glance back once, when he's at the office door, and Ivan is still standing there, at that corner of the hallway, looking at him.

* * *

Naturally, Arthur still garners quite a lot of attention when he enters the classroom once more, this time with a small, square paper pass in his hand. Ms. Olivier accepts it with a reminder to have a pass next time, and Arthur is faced with a predicament again.

Where is his seat?

There's already quite a few more stares his way, and Arthur stands awkwardly until someone gives him a wave. It's Yao, who is looking at him with a frown.

"You should sit down," he whispers and points to the empty seat beside his. Arthur is a little surprised that Yao would actually speak to him...but wait, _that_ hasn't happened yet.

It's a relief, actually, that it isn't until later in the year that it happened.

Arthur nods and mutters a thank you, much to Yao's confusion, judging by the way he's looking at Arthur now.

Yao was somewhat buried in the back of Arthur's mind, until today, when he saw the Chinese boy again. If Ivan was called Alfred's rival, then Yao is probably his. The Chinese boy had transferred away near the end of this year, actually, but before, he was the one Arthur constantly competed with for perfect scores and competition rankings. And also something of an expert at history. Or everything, really.

Both of them rather openly expressed their neutral-bordering-on-dislike attitude for each other, but it never was something that ventured into the hostile or vicious territories of bullying.

They'll soon be on terrible terms though, if Arthur doesn't do anything about _the incident_ …which would occur some time in the winter.

What happened was, some people cornered Yao before his lunch period. They obviously did that with bad intentions, since they were already insulting him and pushing him around when Arthur walked on the scene.

He'd made the wrong choice back then, to stop and watch (he eventually, cough, joined in) instead of telling a teacher or even stopping them himself. It's another one of those things that whenever Arthur remembers, he wants to go back and clobber his younger self.

All that aside, it ended up with Yao being shoved into a closet and locked in there, and he had remained undiscovered for more than a hour, until the search was on and he was found by a custodian.

Arthur and the others immediately received a suspension and subsequent detentions, but things were never the same between them after that.

Obviously.

The Asians didn't talk to Arthur for around a week. Even Kiku, who regularly talked with Arthur about all of his grievances and disagreements with Yao, gave Arthur disapproving looks. Obviously, someone cared more than he appeared to, but Arthur can only say that it's their business to resolve.

Alfred said something about not knowing that Arthur was 'the type', and things were generally awkward or terrible for Arthur until the incident faded away from people's memories and everybody generally went back to their usual attitudes again.

Needless to say, Arthur truly regrets what happened that time, along with his other bouts of cruelty and delinquency during the entirety of high school, but Yao eventually transferred away. Arthur couldn't bring himself to apologize, and Yao wasn't around enough to allow such a chance anyway.

It's pretty much the end of the story, but Arthur has to prevent the bullying, or stop that particular incident if he comes upon it again. If not, maybe he could speak to Yao, though he wouldn't know how to do it, exactly.

There must be more of a reason behind Yao transferring than being locked in a closet. Or maybe not. Arthur just knows too little to make any real decisions.

"Mr. Kirkland." A stern female voice stops Arthur from further thinking, and he's still feeling confused until he realizes that he must've been too distracted to notice a question.

What else could it be? Arthur nearly always had times when he was distracted, except he never was that deep in thought to not notice a question directed to him.

"I beg your pardon?" He supposes that it's all his fault that he's in this type of situation, but Arthur keeps calm, even though the whole class seems to be laughing at him.

"Would you please show us the work for problem nine?" Ms. Olivier thankfully does not say anything further, but points to the problem written on the blackboard instead.

"Of course." Oh, he remembers this. Arthur did not like Calculus at all when he first took it, but looking at this now, it's just the basics. They've only gotten into derivatives right now.

Without further ado, Arthur walks up and begins to solve the problem, finishing much quicker than he thought. Some things take a tad longer to think about and remember, but it turned to be a very basic problem.

He's just glad that he probably won't have as much as a struggle this time. The power of foreknowledge…He does not really wish to quote Gilbert, but it really is...awesome.

Ms. Olivier seems a little surprised, but she nods approvingly, beginning to explain to some of the students who look less than comprehending.

"That is correct. Class, this involves the quotient rule..." She continues on, and Arthur sits down again, this time paying attention instead of thinking about irrelevant (though important) things.

Things are looking up. Maybe.

* * *

With his violin unpacked and bow rosined, Arthur takes his seat in the second chair, wondering when Alfred would turn up. Maybe Arthur shouldn't have persuaded him to join orchestra all those years ago, since Alfred almost immediately replaced him as first chair...but Arthur doesn't really care anymore.

"Arthur." Someone says his name, and Arthur quickly looks up into an exasperated-looking Roderich Edelstein, who pushes his glasses up as he frowns.

"May I ask why you're sitting in my seat? You are the concertmaster, aren't you?" Those words remind Arthur that, no, he hasn't told Alfred to join orchestra yet, thus he is still supposed to be sitting in that chair he's occupied ever since he was nine.

And Arthur still wonders why people call him "spacey".

"...Oh, right. I'm terribly sorry." Arthur quickly moves, and Roderich takes his seat, facial expression returning to his usual, coldly polite blankness.

He is rather unapproachable most of the time, but Arthur appreciates Roderich's musical ability. Though he does know that Roderich primary instrument is the piano, having won many competitions and awards ever since he began playing.

He ended up becoming professional, Arthur remembers. Miss Héderváry mentioned knowing him, and they seemed to be close friends. Arthur didn't ask much into the matter though.

Maybe he should've.

He's lost contact with so many people, Arthur thinks as he tunes his E string.

* * *

Lunch. The time Arthur used to enjoy.

Used to.

"Arthur! Come over here!" Alfred is waving to Arthur the moment he enters the cafeteria, and Arthur knows that he'll soon be manually dragged over if he doesn't do anything. So he sighs to himself, relents, and walks over.

...Wait. Where is he supposed to sit again?

It's times like these that you always hate yourself for not remembering your lunch seat in high school.

Not wanting to wait for someone to tell him, since that would be awkward and very suspicious, Arthur abruptly decides to sit beside Alfred. It's most likely where he used to sit, so he'll take the risk rather than just stand without doing anything.

There aren't anyone shouting that he's taking their seat or any strange looks directed his way, so Arthur decides that he's succeeded once. Finally.

Arthur takes out his lunch, and he suddenly remembers the times when people used to laugh at him and his perfectly fine food. Somehow, they just thought that it was disgusting, making a point by mentioning it to Arthur every time. He'd switched to purchasing a lunch afterwards, and his mother even asked him about whether or not he wanted a packed lunch earlier today.

He said yes, since he isn't the boy who was exceedingly self-conscious anymore. It's food, and he thinks that it tastes perfectly fine, thank you.

"I see that you haven't changed at all, _Angleterre_ ," Francis says as he places his tray onto the table, no doubt in the mood to tease Arthur again.

...That's a nostalgic nickname. Francis started calling Arthur that after they all started Model United Nations, which most of the people Arthur knows are in. Alfred, of course, Francis, Ivan, Kiku, Yao, even Lukas and Mathias...

Funny enough, many in their grade do have a history and family related to the country they represent. It's sort of a running gag that's mentioned frequently and is still going strong.

"Yes. I'm still alive and kicking, sorry to disappoint." Arthur says sarcastically, already used to such banter with Francis.

"Just know that we're glad you're okay." Alfred sounds more serious than usual, and Arthur is surprised, wondering if he messed up or made a mistake somehow.

No, probably not. His younger self might've been more easily flustered and quicker to take offense, but Arthur thinks that his reaction isn't too out of character or different.

It's very troublesome, having to reflect on his own behavior to make sure he isn't acting too strangely.

"Oh...thanks." Alfred does have his serious moments though, surprisingly, and they often last for an exceedingly long time and consist of awkward silences.

Ivan takes his seat nearby, and Yao is at the end of the table, eating by himself.

Antonio and Gilbert soon file in also, greeting them before beginning to talk to Francis, leaving Arthur and Alfred alone. It's strange, since some of Alfred's other friends would usually come around frequently.

"Hey, Arthur. Are you really okay?" Alfred attempts to whisper to Arthur, though his whispers, of all quantities, aren't really that quiet. But more importantly, Alfred's face is a little too close to his, and Arthur hopes that he isn't blushing or acting like a lovestruck schoolboy.

 _It's just Alfred's breath on your face! Calm down. He has little sense of personal space, remember?_

"What?" Hopefully this won't be something serious. Is Arthur really that bad at acting, to the point that he would be found out right away?

"You daydream a lot. And you act a little different." Alfred can be really perceptive sometimes, and Arthur immediately has to stop himself from freezing. He has to respond to the situation calmly, shouldn't let anything show…

"I'm don't feel exactly normal yet. From the accident. Why _would_ you be curious anyway?" The accident is his excuse for anything, and it is actually quite believable, but...The last question comes off a little too defensive, and Arthur winces internally. He didn't mean for it to sound like that.

"If you say so. But you're being a tsundere again, so I guess you really are fine." Alfred smiles after some more staring, and Arthur tries to focus on the strange word. Instead of, well, Alfred.

"What does that even _mean_?" Isn't it japanese?

"A word to describe a person who's sort of like a pineapple," Alfred says after taking a bite from his burger. His words are only slightly muffled, if compared to how he usually sounds when he does the whole talking when eating thing. A slight improvement, but still as ill-mannered as ever.

But...did Alfred just compare him to a fruit?

"A what?" Arthur should know that it's Kiku who's teaching Alfred these strange terms that Arthur doesn't understand. They're friends…but...pineapple?

"You know, prickly on the outside, soft and nice on the inside. It describes you really well." Alfred laughs, as if his words weren't so swoonworthy. Even now, it still feels similar to a bullseye in the heart. Whether or not it's meant platonically or romantically, Arthur feels complimented, and significantly happier.

"No it doesn't," he mutters, despite knowing that he's contradicting himself. Perhaps he is a little like that...

" _Amerique_ , were you at—Oh, am I interrupting a romantic moment?" Francis smiles suggestively, and Arthur only glares weakly, while Alfred splutters a little.

" _What?_ Don't insinuate that about us! Not everyone's in love and dating each other, you know." Alfred is saying something else, but Arthur doesn't bother to listen, those words being another emotional stab.

As expected, that would be Alfred's mindset, that they are only friends and nothing else. Arthur wants to sigh in exasperation, since he'll never understand just what Alfred is thinking, be it oblivious comments or just his behavior in general.

Yes, yes, whatever. Poor him. But if Arthur's going to be sad and feeling upset all the time when Alfred says something that upsets him, he can't possibly stay alive.

So Arthur settles on giving the oblivious Alfred a glare before returning to stare at his food, ignoring Francis' suggestive smirk.

* * *

I'm taking Calculus right now, so why not use my knowledge? Whatever. It isn't important. Ms. Olivier is Monaco, maybe.

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